Ten Years in the US Army
Serving ten years in the Army as a Military Spouse. What I’ve learned and how to move forward.
Wow. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since Greg signed up for an adventure in the military. Most of our time in the Army has been training. Medical school, internship, and residency. For the last two years Greg has been serving as a doctor in the Army and we still have many years ahead of us.
I was 23 when we joined the Army. Now, I’m almost 33 years old and so much has happend in the last 10 year.
Greg and I got married and moved across the country away from family and friends.
I have two beautiful children now, and raising them as Military Kids.
I’ve started my own small businesses with family photography and published a Children’s Book, “Coming Home”.
Being in the Army can be a very lonely experience. During training, Greg would be working for 15 hours sometime 6 days a week. Multiple rotations in different states across the whole country, sometimes separated up to a month at a time. Sometimes the commutes to different hospitals were hours one way. The hours add up and were very hard for our family. Taking care of two young kids, but with Greg gone so much, sometimes family dinners felt like wishful thinking. I’d think to myself, “should I make dinner?” and then, “what’s the point?” At times, it felt like I was raising them on my own. I cried a lot.
Since Greg has finished training life has gotten so much lighter and better. He still has to travel to different bases for work, but we have more family time together, and Greg is such an amazing father.
One huge lesson I have learned as a military wife is that I have to be confident in my choices for my little family and to not be afraid to reach out to others.
After year 6 in the Army I was so tired of not having friends. Where we were stationed there wasn’t a whole lot of spouses groups going on. God spoke to me and said, “If you want friends, they aren’t going to magically show up and knock on your door, you need to go out there and make some. Be the person you wish someone was to you.”
I reached out to a few spouses that were in the same program as Greg. I hosted the most awkward brunch of my life at my house. But the thing is, all these spouses wanted friends too. We slowly made friends and suddenly life wasn’t so lonely anymore.
Then, there is moving and starting over. It’s hard. Moving is really, really hard - emotionally, physically, and mentally. We have 12 months left in Georgia and we have no idea where we will be stationed next. It’s so hard to live in the moment because the Army has everything already planned out for you. As a woman of Faith in Jesus, it’s hard to mentally balance trust in the Army with where they want to station us and trusting that God will provide the community we need.
Just this last week, Greg was promoted to Major in the Army. It’s a big deal, and at times I don’t think our friends and family back home truly understand the sacrifices we’ve made to protect our country and freedom. Being in the Army isn’t fun, it’s not a huge paycheck, and it’s really hard starting over all the time. But in the last 10 years I’ve made so many wonderful friends, and I’ve learned so much about our country’s history and exploring so many different places. Maryland, Washington D.C., Hawaii, Washington state, Texas, Maine, and Georgia. Living in different places I never would have if I stayed in comfortable California. I’m not sure if I would ever truly challenge myself in the Central Coast.
The most important thing I’ve learned is that I love Greg and our two kids. Sometimes Holidays are just us, and I prefer it that way. We’ve learned how to do life together that no one really understands. After 10 years I finally feel like California isn’t my home and I have no desire to move back there. My kids are East Coast kids, living in Maryland and Georgia for their whole lives. And now in 6 months we will find out where our new home will be for years to come. I’m so thankful I don’t have to do life alone and Greg is by my side. He’s worked so hard and he’s an amazing husband and father. I’m grateful for our 10 years together in the Army although sometimes I know people think of me as the “supportive wife” who doesn’t have much going on besides supporting her husband. Well, if that’s my legacy, supporting my husband and kids while giving US citizens freedom to live, I don’t think it’s a bad legacy to have. Yes, it’s been really hard, but being a military spouse has made me the person I am today. This life is greater than what I want or need, it’s about serving and loving others, all for His glory.
